I call this page in the CYL Daily Journal (the Emotional page which has 2 daily entries: forgive and give), "the 12 steps in 2 steps." Why? The progress of the 12 steps is to walk you through dependence upon God for your addiction and eventually serve or sacrificially give back to others who are hurting.
Forgiveness is not an option if you want to honor God and live with a clean heart and conscience. It is also the hallmark of a Christian. It is something that God wants us to exhibit, embrace, and exchange regularly with those who have hurt us.
And giving is an activity that forces you to think about others in such a way that frees your own heart and mind (from worry, self-centeredness, fear, self-pity, etc.).
Of course, to ignore or resist these emotional healing activities only delays recovery, peace, and transparency.
We'll discuss these 2 action steps on our call. Your assignment this week will be to identify (1) anyone you need to forgive or ask to forgive you, and (2) consider how you might "comfort others in the way that you have been comforted."
Be encouraged,
Becky
I wanted everyone to know that even if you don't have money you can still give is someway. I am trying to take this to heart the forgiveness is harder for me.
ReplyDeleteBecky
ReplyDeletewill you be doing DIMDIM at all this Q?
Thoughts about Forgivness Qs
ReplyDeletenot realy seeking an answer
just thinking outloud.
1. How would you truly forgive someone for what seems a small offence in there eyes. But realy, is a deep wound in your eyes?
2. I know that I am a Christian but realy don't know how to be real about the bussiness of Forgiveness.
3. Pratice Forgiveness would mean doing or going to that person. I wouldn't be taken seriously. Getting laughed at would just add to the pain.
Mickey, you are right. In a short phone call there is not time to discuss going to another person with an issue that might create a huge uproar or create another problem. Sometimes we have to forgive people in our hearts, especially when they have no understanding or willingness to see how deeply we are offended. It is the WAY of a Christian to forgive. Hope this helps. Becky
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I have a family member who will not discuss anything. Rather, they moved away and there is no communication. All efforts failed. I think there is a physical/mental problem which causes things to remain unresolved.
ReplyDeleteSo, we have had to let it go and forgive in our hearts. Particulary hard for my elderly mom who feels she may never see that person again on this earth. Hard for me and my husband too, because we dont like things this way.
Yes.
ReplyDeleteT h a n k s....
I gess I just have to say to myself. "I forgive....for ..... , Please, help me to let it
go." Yah. I don't want to hang on to any of that any more.
ABout our group.
I gained 2 pounds this week. Just trying to stay honest.
did do that 8 daily todos
have also. prayed for on hour a day
still not as consistant as I would like.
honest with self and others about keeping my stuff picked up and orgonized. rate myself at 0 this week
ok
hope to hear from everyone this week
I get so encoraged when I read how you are doing.
lov mickey
Mickey, You make me laugh and like you, I love to read the posts. Last week I read a great excerpt from Catherine Marshals book, Something More, Chapter 3. It was about letting God be the judge and when we judge we get in the way of God. I fly to my mothers house once a month and every time I go it gets a little better.(less of me more of God) I need to practice a lifestyle of forgiveness and non-judgement. God is showing me how I judge even strangers, I was in a hotel elevator when a couple got on. I watched as I made judgements about this couple. God spoke to me in the middle of the thoughts, "This is judgement Robbie there is no room for it in your thoughts and definitely not in your actions. I knew I was judging of my family but didn't realize how pervasive it was in my outside life. The daily cleansing is helping.
ReplyDeletei love thinking of having a daily habit of giving. It can be a compliment to the grocery clerk what a beautiful smile she has or encouragement to someone. I was on a plane headed back home when we had a breakdown on the plane and the lady next to me said I knew I should have had something to eat I am so hungry. I had just told God that I hadn't given anything to anyone and before the day was over (it was getting close give me a nudge). Well, I reached in my bag and brought out the apple I had taken from our hotel. My seat mate gladly ate the apple. I thanked God for his provision. I was thinking of taking my recently widowed neighbor some flowers from my yard but I couldn't remember her or her husbands name so I asked God to help me find out and what to do for them. The same day I was cleaning out a pile of papers and there was the newspaper clipping of the neighbors death. I am going to walk over this weekend with the flowers and a little note.
Becky I loved your talk today. I felt excited to live for God and what he wants for me. I do need balance and a new obedience to God. Forgiving myself was a awe hah thought. More exploration. I am going to stop and pick this up tomorrow, it is past my bed time. Mickey, congrats on one hour a day thats BIG.
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ReplyDeleteFirst, I think weighing in every week is great accountability for me so On April 1st, I was 146.6, and today I'm at 142.8! Woo hoo! And I've been working out for 30 minutes a day for 6 days a week since then. I feel so much better and am encouraged to keep it up. I've really been focusing on Becky's statement that eating right is a daily choice that I will have to keep up for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteWith regard to forgiveness, I really have to work through this resentment of a fellow teacher at school. I thought I could just give it to God and let him take care of it, but I am going to have to go to him and make amends. I avoid conflict at all costs, so this is going to be difficult for me.
I've also been thinking about giving. I happened to watch a podcast on Sunday of one of our local pastors and he talked about trusting God with giving tithe. This was something I was raised with, but when I got divorced, I was really scared to do this. He encouraged us to start with whatever percent we felt like we could do and work up. That seemed doable, so after 4 years of being afraid, I took that step of faith and it felt so good. I've also been working though the "Keep the Change" book and when it came to journaling about working through the pain and giving out of that - I was really able to define my dream. I grew up in a Christian home but really learned some false ideas about God, the Bible and what is expected of us. I was married to a pastor and 10 years ago, I threw it all away because I was tired of trying to be so perfect to please God. I spent 10 years doing practically everything I wasn't allowed to do growing up and have many scars to show for it. I want to find a way to work with girls - Christian girls - to help them see God's grace. If we grow up in strict homes, we are all too familiar with the "truth" side of God, but have no experience with his grace. That's my long term giving goal that has come out of the comfort that has been given to me. And I'm so thankful that I was led to a church that talks about grace and truth so openly, or I might still be wandering. That was a lot...thank you for letting me share.
Just a quick post . . .
ReplyDeleteI love to collect quotes, and very early this morning, as I was searching for something to use at school, I stumbled on the following quote. Although it has nothing to do with the subject I was searching, it relates beautifully to the topic of yesterday's phone call. I think it was God's way of speaking to me at this stressful time. May these words bring a bit of encouragement to you as well:
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ~ Mark Twain
Have a wonderful day!
Wanda
Listening to the playback, I believe the lesson this week was selected for me. As you know these are the areas I struggle with more than the other steps.
ReplyDeleteForgiving self was a great idea and with application should help me forgive others. This then, should help begin smoothing relationships in my life that need repair.
Thanks to all!
Many years ago, while struggling with forgiving myself for sins of my youth,(although a Christian at the time), during a Sunday morning sermon, the pastor was reading about when Peter had denied Christ 3 times. It hit me so strongly that if Christ could forgive Peter, who he had walked and talked and shared such intimate moments with, and at such a lonely, scary and heartbreaking moment in Jesus life, deny that he even knew the Lord, why did I think that He couldn't forgive me. Peter was a Christian at the time but still, fear and self-preservation took over. Jesus forgave Peter and used him in a mighty way. Jesus forgives us and if allowed to, will use us in mighty ways as well.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to the past 9 months. As I deal with the loss of my husband. I have moments of difficulty forgiving myself. Why wasn't I a better wife, why didn't I get a handle on housework, why didn't I lose the weight. Why did I expect so much from him. And now, if I didn't do these things then, why would I NOW keep the house picked up and clean, why would I NOW lose the weight he would have been so pleased for me to have lost then.
I know the "right" answer. Because having balance would please God and put my life in a healthier and more peaceful place. Knowing the right answer and feeling it are two different things.
Since my husband's death, I too have thought so much of the scripture to "comfort those with the comfort we ourselves have received." This is a prayer of mine.
(Side note, on the playback, I heard Bev from Iowa. I, too, am from Iowa!
And I would be interested in having a email accountability partner.)
Encouragement to all!
Wow, it is great to see lots of discussion. Lenis, I have a new website that you may want to check out...it has been started by a woman who is in a ministry here in Charlotte: Proverbs 31. The website is:
ReplyDeleteClick here: A Widow's Might Also, I have just received a new journal from Becky's ministry to do the "8 daily to do's" Change Your Life Daily Journal. And, I will be atending my 2nd Al Anon meeting tomorrow. I really had no idea how much my In-Laws alcoholism has affected me all of these years (22) until last week when the anger and frustration almost took me under. I have been angry with them for so long...and I now see how their illness is affecting my husband and may affect our children. My husband is not a believer and, at times, I really don't think he ever will be... I gave my life to the Lord and had a life changing encounter (literally) with Him almost 10 yrs ago. Needless to say, these last 10 years have made me extremely battle weary. The emotional section is where I will be focusing...
Correction: it is a blogspot that will feature discussion.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.awidowsmight.blogspot.com/
My thoughts on the Giving: since we have been really financially strapped I've been unable to give where I normally give. I'm hoping that wont last long.
ReplyDeleteBut I've been convicted to pray for people or ministries, after taking the Inventory here.
I need to *do* it, because we all know how easy it is to say we will pray or sign up for a prayer list, and then let it slide.
It needs to be more about others than just my own needs, and it needs to be heartfelt, and consistent.
I didn't get the gift of intercession that my dear Mom has, but I can cultivate my prayers for groups and individuals.
I just want to update my CYL friends. Yesterday, I recieved two very special gifts. One gift was from my daughter and her husband. My first grandchild was born at 7:38 pm last night. Emma Rae is her name and is beeeeeeautiful!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe other gift was that a week or so ago, they had asked if I would consider being with them at the birth. They were getting a little nervous about "the birth" and all the unknowns beings it was there first baby. I told them I would do whatever they needed me to do. I was pretty certain that they'd be fine and decide to keep the birth a surprise and private. But I got the call yesterday morning and they asked me to come and asked me to stay till the end. What a miracle. And for my daughter and her husband to want me there and, today, tell me that they were so glad that I was there, was the a gift that was so very special to me.
I know this is totally off the subject of Becky's lesson. But as you have been so patient to listen as I share my struggles, I wanted to also share my praises and blessings! Thank you!
Lenis, congratulations.
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing for you!
Btw, my Mother's Mother's maiden name was Rae.
It is also my niece's middle name and my sister's middle name.
Thanks for sharing your joy with us all.
That is wonderful news, Lenis. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGoose bumps came over me when I read about Emma Rae. Many blessings. All my friends who have grandchildren say it is the BEST!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS, Lenis! I'm praying for you and your family.
ReplyDelete